elimeny

Scott: "This tile is really ugly. It's fucking pink.
Jessica: "Yeah I know, this tile has got to go. You're too manly for pink."
Scott: "Okay well, let's carefully remove it with this tiny screwdriver. We should be able to just pop off the individual tiles."
Jessica: "... Carefully? I want to rip this tile off with my teeth I hate it so much."
Scott: "JESSICA. CAREFULLY."
Jessica: "Ooops, looks, I put a small hole in the wall. We can cover that up with joint compound!"
Scott: "You keep breaking the damn tiles! Stop that, it makes it harder to take them off."
Jessica: "Wait a second... these are breaking too easily... what in the..."
Scott: "Oh fuck me. These are PLASTIC FUCKING TILES."
Jessica: ".....omg"
Scott: "Take it down. Take it all down."
Jessica: "MAKE IT GO AWAAAAAAAY"

Sounds of hammers, crowbars, and sledgehammers commence.

Scott: "Okay, there is some damage to the wall but we can probably cover that with joint compound. Let's just scrape this crap tile glue off."
Jessica: "Wheeee! Scrapy thingie!!!"
Scott: "Jessica! Slow and carefully!"
Jessica: "Wheeeeeeeee- CRUNCH - Oh shit."
Scott: "Goddammit woman."
Jessica: "Well fine, YOU do it then, mister smarty pants."
Scott: "Fine. Let a man show you how it's done."

Scraaaaaape. Scraaaaaape....

two weeks later

Scraaaaaape.... Scraaaaaaaape... Scraaa-CRUNCH

Scott: "Fuck this. This wall is coming down."
Jessica: "WHEEE! Sledge hammer ftw!"

an embarassingly long time later, the full duration of which i do not want to confess on the internet

Scott: "Oh for fucks sake."
Jessica: "What's wrong? It's done! You should be happy!"
Scott: "Did you notice anything in particular about the inside of the walls of that goddamn bathroom?"
Jessica: "We found a coke bottle from the sixties. That was pretty cool."
Scott: "I meant the lack of insulation."
Jessica: "Hmm. Is that really a problem? It's a small room."
Scott: "For the interior wall no... but I just realized that the exterior wall wasn't insulated."
Jessica: "omg."
Scott: "Yup. That's why it gets so hot and cold in these rooms. I'll bet you none of these exterior walls are insulated."
Jessica: *does a little research* "Fuck. Scott. Pre 1970s, they didn't insulate the exterior walls around here."
Scott: "We had that wall down to the studs. I could have added insulation." ::headdesk::

two months later

Scott: "The bathroom faucet is leaking."
Jessica: "We probably just need to replace the washer in the pipes."
Scott: "Yeah, should be an easy fix. I got the stuff to do it already, I just have to... OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE."
Jessica: "What?"
Scott: "Sigh. We rebuilt the wall that had access to the bathroom plumbing."
Jessica: "Yeah? So what?"
Scott: "Remember how there used to be a little door opening in the half bath?"
Jessica: "Yeah? So... oh. shit."
Scott: "Yeah. In order to fix the plumbing... I'm going to have to tear down the wall again."
Jessica: "..."
Scott: "..."
Jessica: "You know what? That little leak really isn't a big deal. Water's cheap."